all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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