i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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