i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
