Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
