Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
