____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
