just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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