just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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