her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
