i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
