i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
