Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
