I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
