the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is it because I queefed?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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