She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
