So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
