I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
