Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
