I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
