she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
