Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
