You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
