If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
