she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
