I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
