Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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