I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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