I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
