Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
