apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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