Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
They took my balls.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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