Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
