And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
