i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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