Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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