Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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