Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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