I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
