Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
