isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize