oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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