I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
