I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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