Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize