im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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