Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
