if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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