Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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