highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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