why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize