I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
