Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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