Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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