I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
is that a dick in a sweater?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
