He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
