Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize