I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
