If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
