I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
