I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
