At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
