We're facebook friends in real life
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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