I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
