Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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