you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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