Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
