I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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